* * * * * * * Shounen Zanzou/ Boys Next Door by Yuki Kaori (While Boys Next Door is the official English title, "Shounen Zanzou" literally means "Afterimage of boys" or "Afterimage of a boy"). Hana to Yume Comics/ Hakusensha 1998 ISBN 4-592-12497-9 Translation by Emily Horner Shounen Zanzou Adrian : If only I could love you and kill you like this...what bliss that would be! <> Shounen Zanzou Boys Next Door <> --What the... --Hey, what the hell are you doing? <> --He's already dead! Did you kill him? Adrian : Be quiet. Laurence is going to wake up. Stop! What are you going to do to Laur? <> Adrian : Give him back! He's mine! Let go of him! {I love you.} Laurence can't be dead! Nooo! --The perpetrator of the serial murders of boys that shook Los Angeles has just been arrested. He is Adrian Clay, a 27-year-old elementary school teacher. Adrian : {I love you.} <> --Here he is! --The bloodthirsty killer Adrian Clay is being escorted to the Los Angeles Police Department. --Don't push! Adrian : {On the printed pages that will be garbage the next morning. From the mouths of reporters who do nothing but dress in suits and read from a script.} --Blindman, arrested! --He's being taken by helicopter from Los Angeles Airport! <> Adrian : {In my twisted world, there was only you who were more ugly than anyone, and more beautiful than anyone. There is a truth that can never be told...} <> --It has been found that Laurence Hill, the 14-year-old boy who became the last victim in the "Blindman" serial murders, was a male prostitute, like the other victims. Adrian : {Only one true thing.} --Show your face, murderer! --He's not human! Adrian : {Why are they crying crazily?} --I can't believe someone like that could live in this neighborhood! --He seemed like such a nice guy. Adrian : {I've got it.} <> Adrian : {The flood of light, the shouts of the crowds. I've got it. This is a carnival.} --Come on, boys and girls! This is the carnival that happens just once a year! Let's forget everything painful and just think of fun things. <> --Adrian, this carnival was your real mother. You came out of that hat. Come on, Adrian. Adrian : What? <> Adrian : {I don't want this.} {I understand, mother. It's all right.} <> Adrian : {Someone so impure is much more pure this way.} --Hey, Laur! Hurry up, Dallas is gonna beat you up again! <> --What the hell? --He's dead! Must be that serial murderer. --Look at this, Laurence! Adrian : {The Blindman serial murders.} <> Adrian : {I am a murderer. I've had relationships with six boys, then blindfolded and killed them. I am the "Blindman" who's reported on the news everyday and plunged Los Angeles into terror. When I kill, my chest gets hot and I feel as if I'll die. I can't repress my twisted desires and impulses. Am I insane? But when that boy saw my face, it was the end.} --Look at this, Mr. Clay! <> Adrian : What? --Greg's bruises! I'm completely apalled at Vicky's violence. You really wouldn't think she was a girl! Adrian : Why did you get in a fight this time, Vicky? Vicky : Greg said my parents abandoned me! Adrian : Greg... <> Adrian : Do you know what adults call that? Prejudice. It's a disease that this country has suffered from for a long time. You should feel lucky that it happened to someone else and not you. You can't get a superiority complex about it and call other people names. Vicky : Stop it! Adrian : What? Vicky : When you talk like that, it's like I'm not lucky at all! Adrian : Vicky! Victoria! --Oh, that child! You were trying so hard-- Adrian : No. I should have been more sensitive. I was raised by foster parents too. <> --You were? Adrian : My mother was a single parent. After she was brutally murdered, I went from orphanage to orphanage... --I'm sorry. I didn't know. Adrian : It's all right. Vicky's really a nice kid. She lives in my neighborhood, so she often plays with Wolfy at my house. --Is Wolfy a dog or something? Laurence : What is it? Is this your pet collar? The tag even has a telephone number on it. Laurence : Wolfgang A. Clay. It's a nice name. Adrian : {That's--the guy from last night! I can't believe I dropped that!} --Who are you? Do you know Mr. Clay? Laurence : Yes. Adrian : {He'll tell them everything!} <> Laurence : Can I see you tonight, Adrian, my brother? --I had no idea you had such a cute little brother, Mr. Clay! What's your name? Laurence : Laurence. Everybody calls me Laur. Adrian : {Did he find me using that telephone number? Why? He should have just turned it over to the police.} Laurence : Well? How does it look on me? <> Laurence : Come to this place tonight. I'll keep this thing you dropped around my neck for now. When you come, I'll give it back. Adrian : {What's he thinking? He knows who I really am! His eyes look like they're seeing through me.} <> --You're in the wrong place! --Go home! Next! Adrian : Wait! A kid called Laurence gave me this and told me to come here tonight! --Laurence? Fine. Up the stairs, to the blue room. Adrian : {Downstairs, it looks like an ordinary club.} --That's the "bathroom." --Is that the guy Laur mentioned? Adrian : {But could this be a...} <> --Laur, that hurts! Laurence : Welcome. You're late. <> Laurence : Let's get out of here, Adrian. --Hey, wait! I'm not kidding, the boss'll be back any minute! He'll kill me if he finds out I tried to hurt you! Laurence, help! Laurence : It's better if we talk in here. The boss is careful, so he puts mikes behind the bed and places like that. You don't want anyone to hear, do you? Adrian : Are you... <> Adrian : This is how you live? Selling yourself at a brothel? What about school? You're still young, you shouldn't be living like a slut! Laurence : You are a passionate teacher, but do you have any right to lecture me? During the day, you act like a perfect, self-righteous teacher, but at night you prowl around looking for male prostitutes and kill them! Adrian : Stop it! I know what people like you are after! Here's all my money. Is that enough? <> Adrian : Are you satisfied? Now give back that thing around your neck! Give it back, now! <> Adrian : That's a fake! Where did you put the real one? Laurence : It's with my friend. He'll give it to the police if I disappear or get killed. Adrian : What do you want me to do--be your slave? Laurence : Get me out of here. I want to be free. <> Adrian : But couldn't you just run away? Laurence : It's not that simple. I've tried to run away many times, but each time I was caught and nearly killed. This proves that I'm the property of my boss, Dallas. He's in charge of the prostitutes around here. Deals drugs too, of course. You can't do a thing without his permission. No one who saw this would try to save me. They value their lives. Adrian : I can't do anything either! I'm just a poor teacher. It's impossible! Laurence : But you really want me to give it back to you? All right. I'll tell you where it is. <> Adrian : Stop! You're disgusting! <> Adrian : {It's dangerous. That boy's dangerous. I had to get away, or else...I'd be trapped by those eyes!} <> Adrian : Sorry...I bought you a new collar and name tag, and then I dropped it, Wolfy. {His eyes were like this iguana's expressionless eyes. Eyes that coldly say, 'I know everything about you.'} <> Adrian : {I'm scared of those eyes.} Here, I'll give you your food now. {If I don't do something, he'll be able to blackmail me for the rest of my life. Should I kill him?} "You can have a balloon. Come on, Pierrot is calling. Don't you want a balloon?" {If I kill him, then everyone will know my secret.} <> Adrian : Aaaaah! --Dallas, look at this! It's a photo of one of the guys killed by that serial killer! <> --I heard that Raymond went missing, so I used my influence to get my hands on it. The police are trying to hide important information. Hey, Dallas! Are you listening? Dallas : I'm listening. I'm looking at it... <> --I'll turn you over to the police, you little thief! Adrian : {Vicky!} Wait, this girl's one of my students! --What's that got to do with it? She shoplifted from me! Adrian : Then I'll pay for the music box. Here's your money! {Damn...last night I threw away everything in my wallet.} <> Laurence : Here's your money, Adrian. Adrian : Don't ever do that again, Vicky! If you had asked your new parents, they probably would have bought it for you. Vicky : Who are you? Adrian : Vicky! Laurence : I'm that block-headed teacher's brother, Laur. Vicky : You don't look at all alike. <> Laurence : That's true, and our ages are pretty far apart. Back home, he was really nice and helped me with my studies, and our parents had big hopes for him in football. But the pressure got to him, and one day he just snapped and ran away from home. Our parents completely ignored everything except my perfect brother, so after a while, I ran away too. I came here looking for him. Adrian : {Is that what happened to Laur's real brother? No, I shouldn't be listening to this, when I'm going to have to kill him.} Well, this is where you live. Take this and go on home. Vicky : Take care of this for me. Adrian : Huh? <> Vicky : If I say that somebody bought it for me, they'll worry about it. I'll listen to it when I come over to feed Wolfy! Adrian : All right. {Even if you seem to rebel against them, you're opening your heart to your foster parents, aren't you?} Laurence : You're a good teacher, Adrian. That's what I always thought when I passed in front of the school. You smiled at each one of your students, and I got the feeling that you really cared about them. Adrian : {He knew me before?} Laurence : For some reason, I just couldn't get that image out of my mind. <> Laurence : Your smile was always sad, as if it could break apart at any second. I wondered where that danger came from. And then, I found out your secret. Did I say too much? What I said before about my brother was true. You look a little like my brother did, 5 years ago. <> Adrian : Did you find your brother? {Why am I still talking about this?} Laurence : No. Adrian : {I'll have to kill him.} Laurence : I'll probably never see him again. Oh, here's your money back. You'll be broke without it, right? Adrian : {What will happen if I don't kill him?} <> Laurence : This is my revenge for yesterday. Haven't you ever thought that people who do this get hurt? Do you think I have this job because I like it? I can't just spread my legs, like a woman. Pride and morals are completely useles--it's better if you don't feel anything. Adrian : {I can't let those eyes steal my soul.} Laurence : I could tolerate it from other people... <> Laurence : But I didn't want you to use me like that. Adrian : {I'll become his prisoner.} Laurence : You called it disgusting--well, maybe it is. But why do you think people would go so far to share pleasure with each other? <> Laurence : Everyone spends their lives looking for someone whose soul is like their own, but you can never find that by looking, so people try to force their bodies together. They want to open their hearts, even if it's just for a moment, even if it's just a dream bought with money for a night. It's funny in a way, and very sad and strange, but I love it and I hate it. <> Adrian : No...I'll kill you! Laurence : You can kill me...if you eat my corpse when you're done. <> Laurence : Simmer me in a stew for a night and a day. Suck the marrow from my bones. Then I'll become your flesh and blood, and belong only to you. <> Laurence : If we melt together like this, then my heart will reach yours. Adrian : My mother often used to tell me that I was born in an amusement park. <> Adrian : She was very emotionally unstable. Sometimes she would just ramble on about it, and I'd listen absentmindedly. She brought home a lot of men, and took their money. I always hated that. I didn't understand it, but I still got the feeling that it was wrong. I vaguely though that I'd understand when I grew up. My mother never beat me, but she looked at me with apathetic eyes and barely talked to me. I desperately tried to get her attention, but I never could. It was as if she was denying my existence. One day, my mother took me to a far-away amusement park, which was quite unusual. <> "On the bumper cars, the merry-go-round, the ferris wheel, the teacups, and the funhouse, Pierrot will show you some secret magic. Remember, it's secret!" Adrian : Balloons! Mom, the Pierrot's giving out balloons! I'm gonna go get one, mom! Adrian : But the balloons were gone by the time I got there. There wasn't one for me. Adrian : And when I turned around, my mother was gone. Adrian : Mom, there isn't a balloon for me. Is it because I was a mistake? Is that why? Adrian : At ten years old, I didn't know where to run. The police caught me a few times, but I always ran away from them. I remembered the subway we had came on, so I stole a ride on it and hitchhiked the rest of the way. I was alone in this dangerous city for two whole days before I got home. <> Adrian : My fear of being left alone and my homing instinct had somehow brought me home. Still, somewhere in my heart I held out hope that my mother would respond to me with love when I came home. Roxanne : No, Adrian isn't just some lost child, unrelated to me. He's my son. I gave birth to him when I was 16. When I went to the amusement park, I was raped by a man dressed as a pierrot behind the fun house, and got pregnant. So I just left him back at the place where he came from! --You've been lying to me all this time? You've been taking money from those other men you talked to on the phone, haven't you? Roxanne : Of course there were other men, you fool! And I still barely have enough money. --Roxanne! <> --Be quiet, you whore! Adrian : The man ran away in a hurry. My mother looked surprised to see me in front of her, but then she started to ask for help. Roxanne : Adrian, phone...quickly...I'll take you to the amusement park again when I get better. All right? Adrian : And then... <> Adrian : Will you leave me there again? Don't look at me like that! You never looked at me when you were alive. Now that you're dead-- <> Adrian : Don't look at me! Now she doesn't see me-- <> Adrian : Weak, ugly, with bloody hands. Blind everyone. It's all right as long as they're blind. --That poor child spend five days by the side of his murdered mother. It must have been a terrible strain on his heart. --What a shock. <> --You touched her when you tried to take out the knife, didn't you? You should have called the police right away! Adrian : No one doubted an unfortunate boy without a relative in the world. --Why did you put tape over your mother's eyes? Adrian : Because she was looking at me like she was mad. Adrian : I became a teacher because I didn't want other children to turn out like I did. But it's no use. Behind that mask I wear during the day, I seek out people who sell their bodies like my mother did. All young boys, for some reason. But it was so disgusting--I couldn't stand it--so I just plunged the knife into them, time and time again! They look at me like they're blaming me, and so I have to blind them. I have to kill them. Otherwise, I'll just break apart! <> Adrian : People like that deserve to die! They throw away their pride and their morals, and live with an expression that says they know everything. Every night, every night, they act like insects, with no purpose but money! Adrian : {Clawing, struggling to get out, it's no use. The warm flesh, even now, brings back the smell of blood, like a fetus in its mother's womb--} They deserve to die! Laurence : Who are you killing? Your mother? The boys who sell their bodies? <> Laurence : Or is it yourself? It's all right. You don't have to kill any more. Forgive. <> Laurence : Forgive yourself, Adrian. Adrian : Aren't you afraid of me? Why don't you look at me the same way everyone else does? You're--strange! <> Laurence : Yes. I'm as crazy as you are. Adrian : {I don't have to kill myself any more...} Laurence : My murderer... <> Adrian : {After I cried in the boy's arms like a newborn baby, I slept until morning, with his arms still around me.} Laurence : Oh, so you're Wolfy. I'm sorry. I have your chain. <> Laurence : I can't give it back for a while, because, just like you, I want there to be a chain that connects me to Adrian. Adrian : {Laurence. In my twisted world, only you are pure. Laurence smiles often now, with an innocent face I could never have imagined the first time I met him. Long ago, he must have smiled like that all the time.} <> Adrian : {Laurence smiles, and it burns a brilliant afterimage in my eyes.} <> Adrian : {I can never let you go.} Dallas : You say Laurence skipped work to sneak around? Who's the guy? --In the city, I saw Laur with a guy...but he looks like *that* guy. <> --The one who I saw when Raymond was killed, who ran off. Vicky : Are you Mr. Clay's boyfriend? Laurence : Why do you think that, Vicky? Vicky : Woman's intuition. Laurence : I see. <> Laurence : Vicky, I don't think I'll come home tonight, so feed Wolfy for me...and give him this. Vicky : Laur? Laurence : I'm counting on you. 'Bye. Say, Vicky...if me and Mr. Clay love each other, would you still like him? Vicky : Don't be silly. That's called "prejudice." I love you, and Mr. Clay, and Wolfy. <> --Get in, Laur. Tape : "The boss is careful, so he puts mikes behind the bed and places like that. You don't want anyone to hear, do you?" --You want to run away from me and be free, Laur? Next time you should check to see if there are mikes in the bathroom. You've tried to run away a hundred times, but I've always brought you back. You don't have the guts to really run away. You want to stay with me. <> Laurence : That may have been true in the past, but things are different now, big brother. The old you is dead. Adrian released me from my illusions about the past! --What do you have that's his? Show it to me. You didn't really think I'd leave you and him alone, did you? He's that serial killer, isn't he? The "Blindman"? You picked up that thing around his neck, right? Give it. --Why, you! --Make him spit it out! <> --It's no use. I gave him enough water to kill him, but no matter how much I beat him, he won't throw up. --Is that how much you want to protect him? Did you really think that you could run away from me and live an honest life? You've got only one strong point. You're useless for everything else. You can't get out of this sewer and live! Guess you didn't understand when you got that tattoo. Well, you always were stupid. You didn't even realize that you chased me just like my parents! <> --I'll make you understand that you can never run away from me! <> Adrian : {The harsh tune of the music box rings out in my mind. It's the waltz from the amusement park. It's been two weeks since Laurence disappeared.} <> Adrian : Laurence! I haven't heard a word from you in two weeks! I was so worried! Did you just run off on a whim? I went to that club, but they said you had quit. Laurence! <> Adrian : I don't care about any of that. I'm just so glad that you're back! Laurence... Laurence : I feel the same way, Adrian. I still love you, more than anyone... Adrian : What happened, Laurence? Were you beaten? <> Laurence : You don't need to know that. It's none of your business. Goodbye, Adrian. It's been a fun game. I'm leaving L.A. to be with my brother. <> Laurence : I found my brother. He sent me a letter asking me to come live with him. He's been living in New York and looking for me for a long time. So I'm going. You couldn't take me away from Dallas. A lot of men have tried to before you, but Dallas killed all of them. At least I can kill you myself. That's right. I don't need you any more. <> Laurence : I don't need you, Adrian. Adrian : {Emotionless eyes, like the first time we met. Don't look at the ugliness and weakness in me with those eyes!} No! Don't look at me! <> "Adrian, make me yours." <> Laurence : Adrian...your first promise. You saved me. You set me free. Adrian... "My blood, flesh, and even my heart. They're all yours now." Adrian : {The letter from his brother? It's blank. His gun, too...} <> Adrian : {It's empty? Everything, white and empty...} <> --How did it go, Laurence? First he drugged you so you wouldn't betray him again, then he made you go kill that man. Dallas is a scary guy, even to his own little brother. Hey, Laur, hurry up! We gotta get out of here! Adrian : {Laurence is going to wake up.} <> "Adrian, do you love me?" "I love you..." The Trial <> Lawyer : What you have just heard is the truth about these terrible crimes. The deeds of the defendant, Adrian Clay, who murdered 7 people, are unforgivable, but strangely enough, his last victim, Laurence Hill, was someone he truly loved. Please be lenient with your verdict. Judge : Will the defendant please rise. Has the jury reached a verdict? Jury : We have, your honor. <> Judge : How do you find the defendant, Adrian Clay? Jury : We find the defendant guilty. However, taking into account his psychological condition at the time of the murders, resulting from his tragic childhood experiences and household environment, we sentence him to 140 years in prison rather than death. Adrian : Why? --Clay! --Murderer! --Give me back my son! Adrian : Why won't you send me to where Laurence is? <> Adrian : Laurence! --Adrian looks better. It's good for him to see the sunlight outside once in a while. --When you see him like this, he doesn't seem at all like the murderer who was in the news two years ago. <> --When he was first sent from the prison to this hospital, it didn't seem as if we were going to be able to help him at all, but now he's nice to the nurses and sometimes even smiles. But he still never says a word...though that might be a good thing for him. <> Adrian : {Laurence smiles, and it burns a brilliant afterimage in my eyes.} <> Adrian : {I can never let you go.} <> "Adrian, do you love me?" "I love you." <> Adrian : {If only I could love you and kill you like this...} --He jumped off the rooftop and died instantly. <> --But the hospital administration categorically denies that they're at fault for the patient's suicide. They say that there was a high iron railing around the rooftop, and it was locked before the incident happened. But weird stuff like that couldn't happen... Vicky : Oh... <> Vicky : It's them, Wolfy. The End