* Yuu Yuu Hakusho Translation *
* Volume 1: So long, world! *
* Chapter one: So long, world! *

[Urameshi Yuusuke, aged 14, has a very bad personality.]

[And, he seems to be the lead of this story.]

Man spluttering away: It's not my fault! It was the child, he...

Passerby: I don't think this one's gonna make it!

Man kneeling down: Be quiet! Hurry, call an ambulance!

Yuusuke: ... ?

[It looks like he's dead...]

Yuusuke: Oei! What's going on? Isn't that me lying over there... ?

(ambulance arrives, assitants get off)

Assistant 1: Move away! Move away!

Assistant 2: Move away!

Assistant 1: The child only received some scratches. He's okay.

Assistant 2: This one isn't going to make it!

Yuusuke: Hey wait a minute!

Assistant 1: Anyway, we have to move the child onto the ambulance.

Yuusuke: Wait a minute, brother! I'm over here, not there! ...

(he flies the ambulance assistant a punch)

Yuusuke: Hey! Listen to me!

(his hand goes completely through the ambulance assistant's head)

Yuusuke: ... *Wh... what in the world is going on? Cool down and think...
hmm... today is the first time in ten days I decided to go to school...*

[3 hours ago]

(at Sarayashiki middle school)

Loudspeaker: Urameshi Yuusuke! Come down this very moment to see Teacher
Takenaka!

(a door opens)

Girl with two pig tails: So you're REALLY here! AH! Smoking again? You
juvenile delinquent!

Yuusuke: Ah, it's Keiko. The ugly hag who nags everyday.

Keiko: What do you mean 'nag'? Smoking is bad for your health! Ah... you
didn't change your shoes! You only come to school once in a while to do
something bad don't you! If you keep skipping lessons you'll be detained!

Yuusuke: ~~~~~

Keiko: Teacher Takenaka's been trying to find you since just now! If you
don't go, I'll be scolded as the class monitor as well!

Yuusuke: WAH! I KNOW I KNOW! I'll go now! What a stalker.

Keiko: You think I like to chase you all around? I've been wanting to end
our relationship since kindergarten!

Yuusuke: Humph.

Keiko: Come on, quick!

(Yuusuke reaches out and lifts Keiko's skirt)

Yuusuke: Wah! What a low-class underwear. Even has faeces on it.

(Keiko delivers the tightest slap Yuusuke has ever received)

Keiko: Idiot! Rotten egg! KNAVE! You might as well die, sex maniac!

Yuusuke: Heheheheheheheh!

Keiko: Cheap! Always behaving like this... never improving!

(she stares)

Keiko: AH! He escaped again!

(she runs down the stairs)

Keiko: Why that...

Two girls hiding behind the wall: ...

Girl 1 with pigtails: Keiko!

Girl 2: Has it ended?

Keiko: Why are both of you hiding?

Girl 2: Because Urameshi-kun's so frightening! To think Keiko talks with him
like nothing's going on.

Girl 1: Even all the teachers are afraid of him.

Keiko: Oh? He is a little naive and low-class, but he's not poisonous...

Girl 1: But the rumours surrounding him are horrible! I heard that people in
High Schools and Colleges are all after his life!

Girl 2: I even heard that there were three violent organizations trying to
recruit him... and that he could summon 2000 comrades with just a call!

Keiko: I don't know about such things! He may seem like he fights everyday,
and has suspicious characters entering and exiting his house everyday, but...

Girls: That's really very scary!

Keiko: ... I don't think he can even call 2 to his command, let alone 2000.
He's got very few friends.

Girls: ...

Keiko: If you treat the rumours as truth, your misunderstanding towards him
will only grow deeper!

Girls: But...

Loudspeaker: Urameshi! Urameshi! Come to the staff room IMMEDIATELY!

Yuusuke: I'm not going! That Takenaka seems to enjoy torturing me.

(he notices some sounds)

Voice: It's true! I really earned 15000 yen!

Boy 1 with cigarette: Just find someone on the road and tell them: "I'm
Urameshi's cousin!".

Boy 2 ready to smoke: And he'll just leave his wallet behind? Heheh...
you're so bad! If he finds out, he's gonna kill you!

Boy 1: He'll never know, since everybody in Sarayashiki does that. This is
the general knowledge that all good students who do not engage in fighting
possess. If they don't obey, they'll get it!

Boy 2: !!

Boy 1: Eh? AH!

Boy 2: Urameshi!

Boy 1: I'm... sorry! Spare our lives! YAAA!

(Yuusuke slams them to the wall)

Yuusuke: 500 yen please!

Boy 1: Uwah... yes! Right away!

Yuusuke: (as he receives the coin) Thanks!

Boys: Phew! That was close!

Dark shadow: Hey! What're you doing?

Boys: Ah... Teacher Iwagoto...

Iwagoto: So it's you? Rascal! (to the two boys) Don't be afraid! What did he
do to you? Did you get robbed?

Boy 1: Ah... no!

Boy 2: Nothing...

Iwagoto: There's no need to hide! I won't close my to this affair like all
the other teachers, I'll rid the school of losers like you!

Yuusuke: What?

Boy 1: It's true... nothing happened...

Iwagoto: ! (sees cigarette on the floor)

Boy 1: *Ah!*

Iwagoto: Woah... cigarette... Urameshi! You piece of trash! Hey! Disobedient
to laws, you're the worst kind of human there is! People like you don't need
to attend school at all!

Boys: Um...

Yuusuke: Cut the crap! That's entirely my freedom.

Iwagoto: Go back!

Yuusuke: HM!

(walks out of the school gates)

Yuusuke: Hmph! Look down on me eh?

(lights a cigarette)

(someone hits him from the back)

Yuusuke: OUCH! That hurts! Who's that? Ah! Takenaka!

Takenaka: You should call me 'Teacher'! Smoking once you're out of the
school gates? What kind of a student are you?

Yuusuke: Mind your own business!

Takenaka: This is the first time you're in school for ten days, and you
think school's over before noon? Do you suppose you're the director? Eh,
Yuusuke?

Yuusuke: It was Iwagoto who demanded that I go back!

Takenaka: You must have done something wrong haven't you?

Yuusuke: I did nothing!

Takenaka: All right then, I'm all ears for this event.

(holds onto Yuusuke's ear)

Takenaka: Come to the lecture room with me! Let me treat you to a cup of tea.

Yuusuke: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! That HURTS! Leggo, Takenaka!

Takenaka: You're not going back before night today, you hear?

(notices something)

Takenaka: AH! (he's dragging onto a Yuusuke doll)

Yuusuke: See 'ya! Hohohohohohohohoh...

Takenaka: What're you, a ninja?

Yuusuke: Bye bye! (he skips away)

Takenaka: Remember to come tomorrow, Yuusuke!

(the school bell rings)

Takenaka: ...

Yuusuke: Chi! To think I actually wanted to attend school once in a while...
and everybody starts getting all preachy! Darn!

(he reaches home, opens the door)

(Yuusuke's mother sits, smoking)

Yuusuke: What? You just woke up?

Yuusuke's mother: Pour me a cup of coffee. And... don't you have school today?

Yuusuke: I'm angry, so I skipped.

Mother: If you don't wanna go, quit! School's not free, you know. I even
gave up my school fees for you when I was 14! Oh, how my head hurts.

Yuusuke: Even mom's getting preachy! Oh, spare me!

Mother: If that's not what you want, get independant! Useless boy.

Yuusuke: Heh! DARN! I sure am unfortunate today... more and more infuriated!

(as he walks along the streets, everybody bars their shop to him)

Yuusuke: *Man, I'm so famous that nobody wants to let me into their shops!
I've really become the scapegoat for all the misdeeds of those in my school!
... Although I *did* do most of the dirty work...* !

(four boys surround him)

Yuusuke: ...

Boy with swollen face: Urameshi...

Yuusuke: You again, Kuwabara! Aren't you frustrating! Asking for trouble
everyday!

Kuwabara: Shut up! Time to finish the fight! *I'm* the Number 1 of
Sarayashiki Middle school! I'm gonna show you how great I am today!

Yuusuke: Oh. Well I'm in a baaaaad mood today... let's see how I hammer you!

(and a huge fight ensues, the result: Kuwabara is flung far, far away...)

Thin boy: Impressive!

Fat boy: He's not human...

Yuusuke: (as he walks away) Ah! So much more comfortable now.

Thin boy: Kuwabara-san... don't irritate that Urameshi anymore!

Kuwabara: Shut up! I'm gonna fight till I win! Before I met him, I've never
lost a single match! If this continues on, I'll never die in peace!

[That's right! After failing in school and at home, I went ahead and beat up
the idiot Kuwabara as usual... then...]

(a ball falls down)

[... I met a little boy]

(Yuusuke picks up the ball)

Yuusuke: Hey! Kid! There are lots of cars in this region, it's too dangerous!

Boy: (trembling) ...

Yuusuke: ...

(he proceeds to do a series of stupid faces)

Yuusuke: *And to think I was so confident... he's not even touched!*

(a while later...)

Boy: Idiot! Idiot!

(ladies watch on in disapproval as Yuusuke props his nose up with two
chopsticks and puts the ball into his pants, jumping around)

Yuusuke: *Hmmm... Looks like my abilities haven't rusted a single bit!*

(he bends down to address the boy)

Yuusuke: It's dangerous to play alongside the main road, get it? Go
somewhere else to play!

(Yuusuke crosses the road)

Boy: (receives the ball) ... (starts to play with the ball again)

Yuusuke: Still playing... can't help it, stupid little boy...

Boy: !

(he kicks the ball into the middle of the main road)

Yuusuke: ... hey!

(the boy runs towards the road)

Yuusuke: Hey! It's dangerous out there! Don't run to the road!

(in the distance, a car was fast approaching)

Yuusuke: !! Id-

(the people in the car carry on talking, oblivious)

Yuusuke: (runs towards the boy) Idiot! Don't come!

(the people in the car notices)

Passenger: Ah! You!

Driver: WAH!

(the boy had picked up the ball, and the car was about to reach him)

(in a split second, Yuusuke shoves the little boy out of danger)

(the car looms in front of him)

- DON -

Yuusuke: ... That's right... I was hit by the car!

"I don't think this one's gonna make it!"

Yuusuke: I'm... dead? ... Then I'm now... a ghoul?

Girl in kimono on oar: Bingo! Your skills of perception are quite sharp
aren't they? Accidents like this happens all the time! Those who can't
believe they're dead'll either become floating ghosts or earth bound ghouls.

Yuusuke: ... Who're you?

Girl in kimono on oar: I'm the escorter for souls on the crossroads, Botan.
Probably equivalent to 'Death' in Western cultures! Pleased to meet you!

(Yuusuke comes closer)

Yuusuke: What's so pleasing about meeting me, Miss?

Botan: Please do not use eyes like that on the escorter of souls!

Yuusuke: I may be a little evil, but I'm still very popular! What do you
mean 'Bingo, bingo', idiot! Shouldn't you feel a little more sad for my death?

Botan: ... Looks like your personality's very accurately recorded on the
Life and Death book! You must be terrified to see me, so you're sprouting
nonsense!

(Yuusuke hangs in mid-air as Botan reads from a book)

Botan: Urameshi Yuusuke 14 years old, has a violent character, is brash,
impatient, and very naive with some very dirty hands and filled with stupidity!

Yuusuke: ...

Botan: Lazy, likes to use others, fights, smokes, drinks, gambles, requires
social help... and whole list of other assorted behavior problems. Looks
like a bad boy to me... it's good thing you're dead!

[What words are these!]

Yuusuke: You mind your own business!

(they continue to float in the air)

Yuusuke: Ah! That's right. The kid I pushed aside... how is he? Is he hurt?

Botan: You're worried? Want to go and see him?

(at the hospital)

Doctor: Some scratches on the head and hand, but the skull and bones are
completely unhurt.

Mother: That's good! (the boy's name is mentioned here, but as you know, I'm
using the mandarin version...)

(she looks up)

* a little footnote: Interestingly, the voice actress who voices the boy's
mother in the anime is Ogata Megumi, the same girl who does the voice of
Kurama. ^^x

Mother: Excuse me... the student who saved my son...

Doctor: (as he pushes up his spectacles) My deepest apologies...

Mother: !! How... how come? He died in place of my boy...

(outside...)

Yuusuke: Oh... he's safe and sound... (he smiles)

Botan: ...

Yuusuke: All right! I've got nothing on my mind now. So you're called Botan
aren't you? Bring me along! Whether to heaven or to hell, anywhere!

Botan: *giggles*

Yuusuke: What's so funny?

Botan: You're mistaken, I'm not here to bring you away. I'm here to ask
whether you would like to accept the test for revival.

Yuusuke: Re... revival? What's the meaning of that?

Botan: Mmm... how should I put it?

(she holds her hands out)

Botan: To be honest, your death came as a surprise to the Reikai (Spirit
World). Even the gods never dreamt that you would sacrifice yourself to save
a little boy. At the moment, there's no place for you either in heaven or hell.

Yuusuke: No place... for me? WHY? I died for that boy! Why is it without the
expectations?

Botan: Hm... I didn't want to say this because you seem to have been
severely hit! But... even though the boy was to be knocked down by the car,
he was supposed to have miraculously escaped without a scratch anyway.

Yuusuke: Eh? Without a scratch...

Botan: Right! Because the ball would become a buffer element. That's why I
kept quiet about it.

(she puts a finger to her cheek)

Botan: Your death was actually in vain, short to say!

(Yuusuke gets slammed on the head)

Botan: Isn't that a severe blow? It's really no wonder, hahah... to have
caused injury to a supposedly very safe boy, and to have lost your life in
the event... what an idiot!

(more words fall down on Yuusuke)

(he recovers, and looks ready to beat Botan into pulp)

Botan: Ah! Cool down, didn't I say you had a chance? You can accept the test
for revival...

Yuusuke: ...

Botan: A situation like yours is something seen once in a hundred years.
Therefore, I have no idea what kind of test it is.

(she follows Yuusuke as he floats along)

Botan: If this goes on, you're doomed to become a wandering ghoul indeed! So
it's better for you to accept the test. How then? This isn't a bad idea is it?

Yuusuke: ... No... nope!

Botan: Eh?

Yuusuke: Nope! I'd rather be a wandering ghoul. There's no meaning if I did
revive, anyway.

Botan: Eh!

Yuusuke: I'm sure everybody's rejoicing over my death! If I revive, I'll
only serve to irritate more people. My mom is only 29 years old! If I wasn't
around, she might even find a good man!

Botan: Such despondent words at 14 years old? Why must you draw the
conclusion so soon?

(starts to float away)

Botan: Examine your own "Soul-watching night" and think it over! Tell me the
answer only after you've finished pondering!

Yuusuke: ...

[Therefore...]

(Yuusuke floats over his house, observing his funeral)

Yuusuke: *Ah... it's the fellows at school! Idiots! I'm dead and all they do
is laugh and joke away.* !

(notices Keiko crying away)

Yuusuke: Keiko...

Voice: This isn't good, let's go back!

Voice 2: Shut up and let me go!

(an angry Kuwabara is being stopped by two of his friends as they try to
drag him away)

Yuusuke: Eh? Kuwabara.

Kuwabara: (huffing and puffing...) DESPICABLE! You win me and go right up to
die!

Fat boy: Kuwabara-san! You're in front of a procession!

Kuwabara: I'm the only one who's supposed to kill you, you hear!

Boy: How is he able to hear?

Kuwabara: Come back, you idiot! Come back and fight me!

Boys: (as they drag Kuwabara away) Sorry for the disturbance!

Kuwabara: URAMESHI~~~!

Yuusuke: Hah... that fool!

Iwagoto: Who's that?

Another teacher: Looks like someone who hangs around with Urameshi often.
Nobody's noisier than that bunch!

Iwagoto: What a bunch of mindless jerks! Good thing he did something good
before he died, that's why the name of our school went up...

Teacher: Who knows, it could be that he was kicking the boy when the car
came by!

Iwagoto: Hm, that's highly possible.

Yuusuke: Idiots! Nothing but nonsense!

(the teachers get a shock as a hand reaches out to grab them)

Takenaka: Comparing the boys' behavior with your words, who are the mindless
jerks now?

(he lets go of them)

Teachers: ...

Yuusuke: *Takenaka...*

Takenaka: (kneels down in front of Yuusuke's mother, then Yuusuke's counter)
What a surprise, Yuusuke, to have heard that you had saved a boy... You...

(he bows his head)

Takenaka: But... no idea why but... I didn't feel like praising you at all...

Yuusuke's mother: Yuusuke... Wuu... Wuu... Wuuuuaaaaa - ....

Yuusuke: ...

(the little boy (who got saved) and his mother arrives)

Both: ...

(the mother puts her palms together, the son follows)

Mother: Come, greet big brother here.

Boy: Okay! Big brother, thank you very much! ... ?

Yuusuke's mom: ...

(soon, the boy and his mother are walking on the streets again)

Yuusuke: *There's no need for thanks!* I... I didn't save you at all!

Boy: Mother. What's big brother doing in the box? Is he sleeping?

Mother: Well... yes!

Boy: Mom! Let's come again when big brother wakes up! I'll give him proper
thanks after he wakes up!

(the mother looks down on her boy)

Mother: That isn't possible.

Boy: Why...

Mother: There's no way...

Boy: Why...

Mother: No way...

(they fade into the background...)

Yuusuke: Oei... Botan.

(the girl comes flashing by Yuusuke real quickly)

Botan: Yes?

Yuusuke: ... This test of revival... I accept!

END TRANSLATION

10/1/99
(c) Togashi Yoshihiro
Translation: fwah@geocities.com