The Violent Cooking School
Translated for Banzai! by D. Condie
E-mail: dcondie@bix.com

Akane: Kasumi's come down with...
Ranma: A summer cold?
Kasumi: I'm sorry
Soun: That's ok just have a good rest
Kasumi: But I have to cook dinner?
Akane: No way Kasumi,
Akane: I'll do it.
Soun: Kasumi, I can't le you get up!
Soun: We'll order out, We'll order out
Kasumi: But...but
Genma: Ranma, let's go on a journey of training!
Nabiki: I have an appointment at a friend's house.
Someone: Hello!!
Someone: Is anyone there?
Someone: I'm coming in!
Someone: I'm in!
Akane: Were're you going?
Ranma: Fumph
Ranma: You should know
Ranma: Someone without your cooking.
Genma: This feeling...
Genma: It can't be
Mom: Hello
Mom: I let myself in.
Akane: Ahhh
Nabiki: It's Ranma's mom
Mom: I was wondering if Ranma and my husband are back yet.
Akane: Well....
Ranko: Kyaaa, Welcome Mrs. Saotome
Panda's Sign: Hello, Mrs. Saotome
Mom: Well if it isn't Ranko-chan and the Panda.
Nabiki: Are they still hiding their true identities?
Mom: Kasumi's ill?
Mom: That's too bad
Soun: Yes, she does most of the housework
Mom: If it's okay with you...
Mom: Can I cook dinner tonight?
Mom: Akane-chan do you want to help?
Akane: I'd love to.
Mom: What's wrong?
Akane: I'm not very good at cooking.
Ranko: Not very good?
Akane: Do you want me to say "I'm lousy!?"
Ranko: Good, you understand.
Mom: That's okay, I'll teach you
Akane: Ehhh, really?
Mom: I'm sure you'll be very good
Akane: Thank you!
Soun: Mrs. Saotome!
Soun: Are you sure!? Can you really cure Akane?
Nabiki: Dad, she's not sick
Mom: Ranko, you can help out too.
Ranko: Huh?
Ranko: After all you are a girl.
Ranko: Ho ho ho ho ho
Panda's sign: Just a sec
Ranko: Hmmm?
Ranko: You don't want me to get near any hot water in the kitchen?
Ranko: Okay
Panda's sign: If she ever finds out your half girl...
Ranko: Ya, ya. Because of that dumb promise of yours....
Ranko: We'd have to commit seppaku
Akane: I'll have to do my best
Mom: Well first off...
Mom: Ranko, will you cut up the vegatables for a salad?
Ranko: Ok
Akane: Can you do that, Ranko-chan?
Ranko: Ha, just watch
Ranko: Ha!
Ranko: Da! Da! Da! Da! Da! Da! Da!
Mom: That was good, Ranko-chan.
Mom: They're even arrainged correctly
Ranko: Oh, it was nothing
Akane: I don't like this,
Akane: What if I'm worse that Ranma
Mom: But it would have been better if you washed them first.
Ranko: Oops
Akane: I can't be worse than a guy
Akane: I'm not going to loose to him
Ranko: Hmmm?
Ranko: A chunck of the cutting board?
Akane: Perfect!
Ranko: Hey!
Mom: It'd be better if you cut everything up into the same sizes
Mom: When everthing is the same size, it cooks up better.
Akane: So that's it? There were always some hard ones left over
Ranko: Those are chunks of the cutting board.
Akane: What're you doing staring at me like that?
Ranko: What do you think you're putting in? What?
Akane: I'm putting in white wine for flavor!
Sign on Bottle: Salad Oil
Mom: Close, it looks like you put in salad oil.
Akane: Kyaaaa
Ranko: Oh, man
Akane: I'm sorry
Mom: That's okay Akane-chan.
Mom: Here you go Panda-chan
Ranko: That's okay Akane, you don't have to help any more.
Akane: You either
Akane: Don't get proud just because you can use a knife
Ranko: Really?
Ranko: Let's see who can make the best tasting food
Akane: Okay
Mom: Now, where's the meat?
Ranko: You're burning the vegatables
Akane: I'n not going to loose
Mom: Ahhh, here it is.
Akane: Mrs. Saotome
Ranko: Tell us which tastes better
Mom: Which should I start with?
Mom: I'll start with Ranko's
Mom: Wow, that's good!
Ranko: I knew it!
Mom: Ranko, you'll be a good wife
Mom: Well, let's try Akane's.
Mom: Very good
Akane: I'm sorry
Ranko: I won, but it doesn't feel like it
Kasumi: Really? Akane and Ranma are helping?
Nabiki: Ya, and it's turning into a girl fight
Kasumi: You'll have to tell them about the water heater
Nabiki: Hmmm?
Mom: We're almost done.
Mom: Akane, are the eggs boiled yet?
Akane: Oops, I forgot.
Ranko: Clutz
Akane: What do you mean, they'll be done soon
Ranko: What do you mean?
Akane: Just put them in the Microwave....
Ranko: Idiot! If you do that to raw eggs...
Akane: Huh?
Nabiki: Kasumi told me to tell you...
Nabiki: Not to touch the hot water pipes...
Nabiki: Because they've gotten loose....
Nabiki: I guess I was too late.
Nabiki: It's good that at least Mrs. Saotome didn't find out who you really are.
Akane: What have I done?
Mom: Akane-chan...
Akane: I'm sorrry
Akane: I'm sorry
Akane: I'll never cook again.
Mom: Why?
Akane: Isn't it obvious?
Mom: Don't be silly
Mom: I'm sure...
Mom: That someday you'll want to cook something good for your fiance Ranma.
Mom: You're doing your best
Mom: Thank you...
Akane: Mrs. Saotome.
Nabiki: Akane's going to keep cooking?
Mom: Let's clean up.
Akane: Okay
Soun: Hang in there Akane, you'll get better.
Soun: This is good!
Nabiki: Yes
Mom: Right
Mom: Akane boiled the water for this
Ranko: Yea
Big bowl on the ground: Panda chow