21 Dec 91 Ranma 1/2 Volume 19, Part 10 (Shonen Sunday #46 1991): Koi no kaminingyou (Paper people love) Original blurb: Seishun no ase - namita - noroi... (Youthful sweat - tears - curses...) Original story & art Copyright (C) 1991 Takahashi Rumiko/Shogakukan This English translation Copyright (C) 1991 Goddess Studio Translation by by Iain Sinclair (axolotl@socs.uts.edu.au) Thanks to Hiroshi Haga (heretic+@cmu.edu) and Patrick Yip (AWOL). This is a rough version. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gosunkugi: Every morning at half-past six, Akane Tendou, on her daily routine of jogging, passes by this place. Akane: >huff< >huff< >huff< Gosunkugi: I am Hikaru Gosunkugi. Classmate of Akane-san. (Gosunkugi's plan.) Gosunkugi: Well, good morning, Akane-san. I see you're jogging? Akane: Oh, good morning, Gosunkugi-kun. Gosunkugi: You come by here every morning, at this time? Akane: Indeed, you too? Let's meet again tomorrow. (A sign around Gosunkugi says "sarigenai KIKKAKE". Back to reality, a dog is chewing his tracksuit (grrrr).) Old man: What are you doing. Pray tell, why is this person in my yard. Gosunkugi: I'm - waiting - for - you... A! (Akane rushes by and Gosunkugi lurches out) Well, good moooorning, Akane-sa... ... Akane: >huff< >huff< Gosunkugi: She's, she's too fast... Akane-saaan. (Akane is disappearing into the distance.) Gosunkugi: Hey theeere, come baaack. Akane: Hm? (Wham! The panda and Ranma, fighting viciously, trample over Gosunkugi.) Gosunkugi: AH. Ranma: Dad, what did we tread on just now? Panda: You're imagining things Akane: Ranma, did you just call me? Ranma: I didn't call you. Akane: Must be dreaming. (Akane runs off again. Gosunkugi's body wafts by, way behind her.) Gosunkugi: I'll return... Salesman: Hey, you over there. (A strange salesman wipes away his tears.) Salesman: I was watching all the time. Most distressing. (He opens a suitcase.) Salesman: If you're feeling pain over your beloved, I've got just the thing for you. Gosunkugi: What kind of a salesman are you, mister. Salesman: A dozen paper dolls. You write a 'command' on them, and stick them on a person's back. Then... Gosunkugi: The person who it's stuck on has to do the command you wrote...? (Gosunkugi writes on a doll.) Doll: Give me them for free (He tries to stick it on the salesman's back. The salesman tries to stick another one on Gosunkugi's back...) Doll: Buy them for 10000 Yen (They face off in the street.) (PE at school.) Gosunkugi: In the end, I bought them for 5000 Yen, heavens above... Wonder if they really do work... PE Teacher: Right, Ranma Saotome next!! Gosunkugi: Thi, this is it. Doll: Fall down Gosunkugi (sticking doll on Ranma's back): Go for it, Saotome-KUN. Ranma: Uh? (Ranma effortlessly does repeated somersaults on the horizontal bar. Students: (clap clap clap) Oh!) Gosunkugi: What's going on... (Then, Ranma's landing goes totally haywire. He crashes into Gosunkugi.) Ranma: Sorry. Gosunkugi: Ha ha ha, thaaat's OK. ?Hiroshi: We can't believe that you fell down, Ranma. Ranma: Me neither. Gosunkugi: (thinks) They're the real thing! (In class.) ?Gosunkugi: (brooding) Akane Tendou. Until now, you have been so distant from me... But from today, you will be my puppet! (He holds up another doll.) Doll: Please go on a date with me (He's trembling as he's about to stick the doll on her.) Akane: Can I help you? Gosunkugi-kun. Gosunkugi: (ji---n) It's been so long since Akane-san spoke to me, my goodness... (Ranma and his friends suddenly appear.) Hiroshi: Yeah, here we are, Gosunkugi stuck it on Ranma's back. Gosunkugi: Ah. Ranma: What a joke, eh. A little paper thing like that... Hiroshi: I'm not kidding, he did it like this... (Hiroshi grabs Gosunkugi's hand and slaps the doll on Ranma's back.) here... Gosunkugi: Agh. Ranma: I understand, Gosunkugi, let's go on a date. Gosunkugi: ERGH. (nightmarish scenes of Gosunkugi and Ranma on a date.) Ranma: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. ha ha ha ha ha waait! Ranma: What are we waiting for. Doll: Stop it (Gosunkugi, entwined with Ranma, sticks the doll on his back.) Ranma (clobbers Gosunkugi): Who the hell do you think you are, you're makin' me sick! Gosunkugi: (holding up a new doll) I won't be defeated! (In the library.) Doll: Please do koukan nikki [diary exchange] with me (Gosunkugi, doll in hand, dives for Akane's back. Ranma whisks her away.) Akane: Hey, what's this! Ranma: Don't leave your back turned to Gosunkugi. Gosunkugi: You rotter, Ranma Saotome! (the doll has stuck on Kunou's back.) Agh, Kunou-sempai... Tatewaki: Let's do koukan nikki right away. Gosunkugi: AaAaaah... Tatewaki: It's your turn. Gosunkugi (writing in the diary): Aaagh, I didn't want it to end up like this... (Back in class) Gosunkugi: First of all, that obstructive Saotome... Doll: Argue with Akane (Gosunkugi lurks with the doll. Ranma grabs him by the collar.) Ranma: What the HELL are you up to? Akane: Please Ranma, you shouldn't bully weak people. Ranma: What do you want? Stay out of it, BAKA! [stupid] Gosunkugi: (ji----n) Akane-san defended me... Akane: What BAKA are you talking about, BAKA. Ranma: You're the BAKA, BAKA. Akane: It's you who's the BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA. Gosunkugi: H, hey, don't argue like this... I haven't stuck it on yet... (Ranma and Akane belt Gosunkugi away.) Ranma: Stay out of it. Akane: This is our problem, OK. -------------------- (Gosunkugi sits at a desk, tearfully writing on another doll.) Gosunkugi: Saotome no BAKAaa. Doll: Wound yourself (Gosunkugi leaps towards Ranma with the doll. Ranma deftly avoids him and lands on his head.) Ranma: You won't get that on my back in a hundred years! Gosunkugi: heh... just wait... (In class...) Teacher: Everyone sit down. Class: Eh!? (Teacher has a doll stuck on his back.) Doll: Sit Gosunkugi on the seat behind Saotome Students: How come he's moving us all of a sudden? (Gosunkugi is now seated behind Ranma.) Ranma (annoyed): Gosunkugi... Gosunkugi: (fu fu fu) Poor little Saotome... You can't escape me now... Akane: Ranma. Ranma: What's this, Akane's sitting next to me. Gosunkugi: Agh. (brooding) You fiend, Saotome! You put yourself next to Akane. I curse yoooouu! Oh! (Gosunkugi cries out and burns up.) Oh my gooodneeessss!! Only one doll leeeeft! Akane: Gosunkugi-kun... he's a bit strange... Ranma: Isn't that what I've been saying all along? Akane: But... (Gosunkugi is terribly upset. He barely manages to write...) Doll: Please do not hate me (Gosunkugi sticks the doll on Akane's back!) (Akane turns to Gosunkugi.) Akane: Why would I hate you. (Gosunkugi is beside himself.) Gosunkugi: (ji---n) What a relief. Narration: I should've written "love me"... It was a few minutes later when I realized my mistake.