Ranma 1/2 Volume 17 Part 11 (Shonen Sunday #35-36 1991): PE-JI wo norokuru to kowai - kamoshirenai... (It's scary when you turn cursed pages - maybe...) Original story and art Copyright (C) 1991 Takahashi Rumiko/Shogakukan English translation Copyright (C) 1991 Goddess Studio: Translation by Iain Sinclair (axolotl@socs.uts.edu.au) Thanks to Hiroshi Haga (hh0u+@andrew.cmu.edu). ========================================================================= (A festival. There is a shady-looking stall with a gaudy sign, advertising noroiteki kaiga [=cursed paintings].) Voice: Roll up! Roll up! Roll up! See the 3000 year-old Chinese cursed paintings. Akane (in a kimono, holding fairy floss): That looks interesting. Let's go in. Kasumi: Oh, where is Ranma & his father? Nabiki: I think they're lost. (Inside the stall, a robed Chinese artist addresses the audience. Three scrolls hang behind him.) Artist: You see here three paintings on scrolls, generations of monstrous cursed paintings. (Magnificent painting of a ghoul clutching skulls.) The first picture. My grandfather drew this picture, and died a year later. (Morbid painting of a drooling spider-demon.) The second picture. My father drew this picture, and died three years later. Audience: Urghh. How horrible. (Pulls down third scroll) Artist (cackling): The best is yet to come! Behold my masterpiece! (Ranma crashes through the roof, and flying-kicks Genma into the third sheet.) Kasumi: Oh, it's Ranma-kun. Ranma: Damn you, Dad. Give me back that takoyaki!! * [* a piece of octopus meat inside pastry, with sauce. Ball-like things.] (Genma slides down the sheet.) Ranma: Hmph. (A fuda [talisman or charm] covered with ancient kanji, peels off the sheet, and drifts onto Genma's punch-drunk head.) Artist: Ge! The affixed seal... (An apparition seethes out of the painting.) Audience: The painting's spirit is escaping!? Artist: Aiya. Ranma: Huh!? Artist (trembling): You two, what have you done to... the cursed painting drawn on the cursed scroll by the cursed brush. (Holds up the talisman) You tore off this sealing talisman... (The apparition forms into a ghastly skull.) Ranma: Th-then that thing was... Artist: My cursed masterpiece has been released unto the world! Audience: A ghooooost. (Ranma & Genma charge the spectre.) Genma: Let's go, Ranma! Ranma: Whoa. (A bizarre, grotesque, very crudely-drawn panda appears above the two, who fall over in shock. It is wearing a floral necklace, and has a fixed, toothless grin. The audience is horrified.) Panda-ghost: ho Ho hO HO ho I'm free!! Artist: My bewitched masterpiece! Ranma (aghast): Wh.. What the... Akane: What on earth is that. Artist: A panda, of course, what else could it be? Kasumi: Yes, it's abstract art! Nabiki: It's just crappy art, I think. (The artist gives the talisman to Ranma.) Artist: You must stick this on the panda. Then it will revert to being a drawing on the sheet. Ranma: Right. (Ranma & the panda-ghost are strolling along the pavement.) Panda-ghost (sing-song): Oooh, what fun. (Creaks its head to look at Ranma.) Panda-ghost: You're the one, right? The one who set me free. (The panda-ghost takes the talisman from an anxious Ranma.) Panda-ghost: Thankyou. (It looks at the talisman. It cowers.) Panda-ghost (shrieking): Don't make me go back to the painting, noooooo. Nabiki (to the artist): Mister, is that a female panda? Artist: Can't you see that by looking at it! (The panda-ghost is doubled over, sobbing.) Panda-ghost: It would be so wonderful if I could go on a date before I went back to that stall... It's my little d-ream... Akane (wistful): What a sorry sight. Ranma: It doesn't look like she's a brute. If it's only for tonight, I guess it's okay... (Akane stoops to take to the panda-ghost.) Akane: If we can fulfil your dream, will you go back quietly? (The panda-ghost blushes. Ranma grabs Genma, who is about to run off.) Genma (anxious): Son, what are you planning to do? Ranma (brandishing a bucket of water): Don't you feel sorry for her? (Ranma shoves the sopping panda in front of the panda-ghost.) Ranma: Here's a boyfriend for you. Panda-ghost: How awwwful! (crying): And when I thought my dream came true... I have to date with this ugly panda, nooo. (Genma-panda grabs Ranma, who is hastily running away...) Panda (holding up sign): Don't you feel sorry for her? (later...) Bystander 1: H.. Hey, check out that couple. Bystander 2: That's a couple..? (The panda-ghost and Ranma are riding on a merry-go-round. Ranma is going along with it, but he's obviously distressed. The crowd looks on in bewilderment.) Panda-ghost: Ho hO HO ho HO. Ranma: Ha ha ha ha ha ha. (Akane and the ever-snacking Nabiki survey the scene.) Nabiki (mischieviously): Doesn't it upset you, seeing Ranma with a panda? Akane (wearily): No way. Panda-ghost (offering takoyaki to Ranma): Open wide. Ranma: Ha ha ha ha ha ha. (The "couple" frolic in an idyllic floral scene.) Panda-ghost: Ho ho ho ho ho Can you catch me? Ranma: Ha ha ha ha ha You there! (Ranma clutches his head in frustration.) Ranma (to himself): What the hell am I doing? (Ranma, fed up, grabs the artist by his robe.) Ranma: Hey. Where's the talisman? Artist: It's gone. Ranma: Whaat. Artist (shaking out his sleeves): This is very bad, I wonder where I lost it. Ranma (incensed): What the hell. Panda-ghost: Ranma-kuuun. Artist (glaring at Ranma): You will put her back inside the scroll by force. Ranma: ... (Genma places his hand on Ranma's shoulder, and speaks gravely.) Genma: Ranma... In the end, monsters and martial artists have no choice but to fight. (Ranma clenches his fist and faces the panda-ghost.) Panda-ghost (brandishing fairy-floss): Isn't this wonderful. Ranma (totally lost): Ha ha... Panda-ghost: Tee hee. (The Tendou girls watch the bizarre scene.) Nabiki: As always, an indecisive man. Kasumi: I think he's kind, isn't he? Akane: Guess I have no choice.. (Akane tugs Ranma's shirt.) Akane: Ranma... Promise this... Ranma: Huh, what is it? Akane (whispering into Ranma's ear): Baka, don't you know "circumstances may justify a lie."? Make her give up. Ranma (agreeably): Ah. Panda-ghost (looking at Akane): Ranma-kun, is that person... perhaps, your s-w-eet-heart...? (Akane looks daggers at Ranma.) Ranma: No no no no no you've got it wrong! (Akane kicks Ranma to kingdom come.) Akane: Even in circumstances like this, you can't still... (Later, Ranma is sitting on a bench, the panda-ghost tenderly holding his arm.) [...] [[ Panda-ghost: I'm so happy. I want this to last forever. ]] [[ Ranma: Hahaha ]] [[ Panda-ghost: But only living in the scroll won't do. It's time to part. ]] Panda-ghost: Thank you, Ranma-kun, I will never forget the events of tonight in my whole life. Ranma (feeling pity): So far, it's been fun... Panda-ghost: Can I ask you one more favor before I go? Ranma (thinking): Having set about the job, I won't back out of it now. (to panda-ghost): If there's something I can do... Panda-ghost: Now... Kiss.. me... (Ranma is totally freaked. Akane rolls up her sleeves, and grits her teeth.) Akane: Na!... Nabiki: It's alright, she's just graffiti. [...] [[ Panda-ghost: My dream goodbye kiss... with this... with no regrets... ]] [[ Ranma: Ge. Tears of happiness... ]] Ranma: I.. c-can't... goodbye... (The panda-ghost puckers her lips.) Akane: Impossible.. he surely won't... Crowd: Get on with it. [[ Crowd: We've been waiting for 20 minutes. ]] [[ Panda-ghost: Ranma ... ? I'm over here. ]] [[ Akane: Stop it! ]] (The panda-ghost gives Ranma a fierce headbutt, smashing him on the mouth.) Genma: That'll be a headache... Panda-ghost (frolicking away): Thankyou. Goodbyeee. (The artist takes the panda-ghost by the hand, and leads her away.) Artist: Was that fun? Panda-ghost: Yep. Kasumi: She wanted a kiss on her forehead, didn't she? [[ Genma: The duty is finished. ]] (Next day, the Tendou girls and Ranma are back in the stall. The third painting is an atrocious scrawl of Ranma and the panda-ghost holding hands.) Artist: My masterpiece. Kasumi: Look, that's Ranma, you drew them together for her. Nabiki: They look happy. Ranma (annoyed): I don't see the resemblance. (BTW, I didn't finish the [...] bits, sorry. :-)