Ranma 1/2, volume 14 part 11 "SANTA CLAUS no deshi" (Santa Claus's apprentice) English translation by Theresa Martin (revised January 1, 1994) p. 166 Rooftops in the afternoon. Voice: Jaa Akane, ashita gakkou de nee. Bye Akane, see you in school tomorrow. Voice: Bai-baai. Bye-bye. Akane walks home with a tennis racket in her carryall. Akane: N? Huh? On the road, two little kids are talking. Hanako: O-nii-chan, tsukareta. Big brother, I'm tired. Boy: Mou chotto dakara ganbare Hanako. Hang in there a little more, Hanako. Akane bends down and addresses the boy, who clutches a rolled up paper. Akane: Doushita no? What's the matter? Boy: Ano, boku-tachi... Well, we're... The paper has a crooked, childishly-drawn picture of Happousai's face. Boy: Kono o-jii-san o sagashiteru n desu. looking for this o-jii-san [old man]. p. 167 Akane glares at the paper as a stampede of girls, armed with brooms, mops, bats, and croquet mallets, pursue a masked Happousai bounding along the top of a fence with a bag of underwear. Akane: ............ Girls: Kya- shitagi DOROBO-! [scream] Underwear thief! Akane looks up as Happousai springs by. Happousai: Yo, Akane-chan. Suddenly Ranma delivers a flying kick [baki!] that makes Happousai's eyes bulge. Ranma: Teme- wa mata hito-sama ni meiwaku kakeyagatte! You jerk, making trouble for decent people again! The girls kick and stomp and beat Happousai soundly. As they leave with their underwear, the wind swirls past. The boy stoops down and looks at Happousai, whose eyes now resemble the crooked circles of the drawing. p. 168 The boy looks from Happousai to the drawing and back. Akane: Ne-, kono o-jii-san ni nan no you? Nanka torareta no? Say, what business do you have with this o-jii-san? Did he take something? Ranma: N? The kids are delighted. Boy: SANTA-san! Yappari ano toki no SANTA-san da--! Santa-san! It really is Santa-san from that time! Hanako: Yatto aeta ne, nii-chan. We ran into him at last, nii-chan. Happousai: N!? Omaera wa... Eh!? You're... Boy: Yakusoku-doori ai ni kimashita, SANTA-san. We came as promised, Santa-san. Akane: Chotto o-jii-san. Just a minute, o-jii-san. Ranma: Dou iu koto nanda? How did this happen? Happousai: Umu. Hmm. The masked Happousai bounded along the snowy rooftops with a bag of underwear. Narration: Ima o saru koto suukagetsumae-- KURISUMASU IBU... Several months ago-- Christmas Eve... Happousai: (singing) Tairyou ja... It's a good catch-- Narration: Itsumo no nitsuka no kaerimichi... On my way home from my daily routine as always... p. 169 On a tenement balcony, a stocking blows in the snowy wind on a laundry hanger. Narration: To aru madobe de sabishige ni furuete-iru SUTOKKINGU ga washi no me ni fureta... In the vicinity of a certain window, one last lonely trembling stocking met my eyes... Happousai lands on the railing and takes a strong pull on the stocking. Happousai: Kawaisou ni... washi to issho ni kuru kai? How pitiful... will you come with me? Gararara! Doka! With a clatter and a loud thump, a large iron bell on a rope drops on Happousai. The sliding door opens and a net comes down over him. The boy holds up his catch as Hanako pulls out a cute panty with a cat face and paw prints on it. Boy: Yatta! Tsui ni SANTA-san wo tsukamaeta zo, Hanako-! We did it! At last we caught Santa-san, Hanako! Hanako: Waa-, PUREZENTO da--. Waa, a prese--nt. At the Tendou doujou, the sun shines and cicadas chirp... Ranma: Sore de... Well then... Inside, at the table with Akane and the kids, Ranma whispers behind his hand to Happousai. Ranma: SANTA ni narimashitatte ka. In the guise of Santa, you kept a straight face? Happousai: Kodomo no yume wo uragitte wa ikan to omotte na. I think it would be a pity to betray a child's dream. p. 170 The kids drink their beverages and eat flan. Happousai: Kigeba chichioya wa tanshinfunin, hahaoya wa PAATO de kitaku ga osoi... washa, tsui ki-no-doku natte na. When I heard their father has a post away from home, and their mother comes home late from her part-time job... I pitied them. In the kids apartment, over chicken legs and cake, Happousai danced for the happy children, spinning plates with a bottle in his mouth. Happousai: Wahahaha CHIKIN ja KEEKI ja, sake motte ko-i! Wahahaha there's chicken, there's cake, let's have sake! Happousai explains to Ranma. Happousai: SANTA-san no furi wo shite asonde-yatta n ja. I was fooling around pretending to be Santa-san for them. Ranma: Doko ga SANTA da. Where are you Santa. At the party, a drunk Happousai in a party hat was on the floor amid paper streamers... Happousai: Sate... to, Well... with that, Happousai starts hopping over the railing with mask and bag. The boy grabs the bag to keep him from getting away. Happousai: Kaeru. I'm going home. Boy: A, matte. Ah, wait. Boy: Boku, shourai SANTA ni naritai n desu. Deshiiri-sasete kudasai! Me, someday I want to be Santa. Please let me be your apprentice! While Hanako admires her cute panty, Happousai leaves, grinning and telling the boy, Happousai: Wahahahaha ai ni kite kuretara, itsudemo deshi ni shite ageyou-. Wahahahaha if I ever see you again, I'll let you be my apprentices any time. Boy: Hai. OK. p. 171 Akane: Hee~, sore ni shite mo... Hee~, even if you decided that... Happousai: Yoku washi o sagashi-ateta no-. You guessed well where to find me. Boy: SANTA-san ga kureta PUREZENTO ni... In the present Santa-san gave... The boy holds out the cute panty to Happousai. Akane stares at the words on the panty. Ranma elbows Happousai in the head [Pako!]. Akane: ............ panty: Nerima-ku, Tendou doujou, Happousai Ranma: Nusunda PANTSU ni juusho to namae kaite n ja nee--! If it weren't for writing your address and name in stolen pants! Boy: Yakusoku-doori deshi ni shite kudasai-. Donna kurushii shugyou ni mo taete-misemasu-. Please let us be your apprentices as promised. We'll try to endure whatever the difficult training. Akane: ...do- sun no yo. ...what will you do. Happousai: U~~~~~~m. Hm~~~~~~. Happousai slaps his knee with decision. Happousai: Ai wakatta. Itta koto ni wa sekinin o motou! We had an understanding. Under these circumstances, I bear an obligation! Happousai ties on his mask and runs off with the kids following, as Ranma and Akane look on. Happousai: Sassoku shugyou ja. Tsuite maire! We'll train right away. Come along! Boy: Hai-! Yes! p. 172 More rooftops in the afternoon light. Happousai: SANTA kokoroe sono ichi, sonzai o hito ni satorarenu koto! Santa rule number 1, don't let people perceive your existence! Boy: Hai-. Happousai and the kids, all wearing masks, peer around an electrical pole. Happousai agilely springs up to a second-story window and throws ladies underwear from the laundry hangers into the bag held open by the kids below. Meshi! Ranma stomps Happousai's face into the railing. Ranma: Oi. Hey. Ranma grabs Happousai by the neck. Ranma: Nani yatto n ja. What were you just doing. Happousai: KURISUMASU PUREZENTO no shuushuu ni kimattorou ga-. Naturally we're collecting Christmas presents. Happousai rapidly tucks women's underwear into Ranma's neck and waistband. Happousai: Hoshikerya yaru wai. If you want them, I'll give them to you. Ranma: (angrily) Iru ka-! What's this! p. 173 A woman squeaks the sliding door open [gyura], catching a surprised Ranma with her underwear sticking out of his clothes. Dokkan! Ranma goes flying. Birds fly past a steaming chimney-stack. chimney: Sarada yu. Sarada hot bath. Happousai: SANTA kokoroe sono ni, ENTOTSU to shitashimu kokoro! Santa rule number 2, get to know CHIMNEYS by heart! Inside the onsen, naked girls wash. Happousai and the kids crawl on a ledge to an open window. Ranma steps on Happousai's head. Ranma: Ano na. Hey. Ranma gets down on all fours to yell at Happousai. Happousai: Onore to iu yatsu wa-, ichido narazu nido made mo! A guy called "onore" [= you (very rude)], once is a rogue, but to go so far as twice! Ranma: GAKI ni nani oshiete n da~? What are you teaching these brats? p. 174 Ranma addresses the kids. Ranma: Ome-ra mo na-, konna jijii no kuchiguruma ni notteneede... Hey both of you, don't take part in this sort of old man's cajolery... Ton! Happousai pushes Ranma through the open window. Happousai: Kodomo no yume o kowasu de nai--! Don't destroy the children's dream! Ranma: A"! Girls scream as Ranma falls inside. Ranma: Chi- chiga... Mi- mistake... Dokabaki! Kapo-n! Violent sounds and screams come through the window. Happousai and the kids walk away from the ladder. Happousai: Hu, orokamono ga... Sigh, the fool... At a restaurant... noren: Teishoku-ya San-chan Set meal restaurant San-chan Happousai: SANTA kokoroe sono san, subayai FUTTOWA-KU. Santa rule number 3, quick footwork. The kids watch Happousai gobble several bowls of food. p. 175 Happousai picks his teeth. Happousai: Sate... to. Well... that's that. Happousai runs for the door. Happousai: Yuku zo-!! Let's go!! San: A-, kuinige! Hey, he's running away without paying for his food! [They have a word for it in Japanese.] Happousai: Yoi ka omoera, SANTA ni naritakuba koushite ashikoshi o kitaete... See, you two, if you want to be Santa, train your lower body well... Outside, Happousai turns around, but only the wind is behind him. Happousai: N? Hanako: O-nii-chan, SANTA-san te binbou na no ka na. Big brother, do you think Santa-san is poor. Boy: Un... Yeah... The boy shakes his piggy bank. Boy: Kitto SANTA-san no o-kozukai wa zenbu... PUREZENTO dai ni tsukatchau n da yo. Surely Santa-san's spending money has all... been used for the cost of presents. The piggy bank is smashed open [gachon] and change clatters out [zarara]. Happousai peers through the noren. Inside, the kids hold hands as a cross San counts the glittering change. Happousai: ............ Boy: Tariru? Is that enough? p. 176 Shuddering, a beat-up Ranma is limping with the support of a pole. Ranma: Jigujo~ [shurred: chikusho], ano kuso jijii. Dammit, that $#!+ old man. He spots Happousai and his apprentices upon a stack of unused pipes. Ranma: N? Boy: SANTA-san, tsugi wa donna shugyou desu ka? Santa-san, what training is next? Happousai shields his eyes from the boy's sparkling gaze. Happousai: U-, mabushii... Oh, blinding... Happousai imagines his mean apprentices Souun, Genma, and Ranma beating him up. Happousai: Omoeba ima made no deshi domo wa, chotto kibishiku sureba ne ni motte, naguru wa keru wa... When I think about my rascal apprentices until now, holding grudges if I punished them a little severely, beat me and kick me... Tears fall from Happousai's wide, innocent eyes. Happousai: Washi wa... washi wa... konna ni yasashiku rikai sareta no wa umareta hajimete jaaa. I... I... having had such a gentle understanding, I think I'm beginning to see the light. p. 177 Ranma drops suddenly on Happousai. Ranma: Higaisha JIRA-shite nageru tachiba ka temee wa-. Teasing your victims with your tear-jerking viewpoint? You jerk. The boy picks up Happousai and pulls him away. Boy: O-nii-san, SANTA-san o ijimenaide! Big brother [form of address to older boy], don't bully Santa-san! Ranma: ............ Ranma pats Happousai on the back. Ranma: Naa, ch'tto wa ryoushin ga uzu ka nee ka? Doesn't your conscience tingle a little? Happousai: Hu-... Sigh. Happousai burns with a raging flame of determination. Happousai: Iwareru made mo nai!! SANTA kokoroe sono yon, Yoi okonai o suru!! I can't go any longer without saying it!! Santa rule number 4, Do good deeds!! The boy sparkles with another radiant gaze. Boy: Donna koto o suru n desu ka-. What deed do we do. Happousai strains his mind to think of something, sweating in mental agony. Happousai: Ii koto, ii koto, ii koto, Good deed, good deed, good deed, He softens and goes limp. Happousai: Ii koto~~~~~! Good de~~~~~ed! p. 178 Good deeds do not compute. BAN! Happousai short-circuits, nuts and screws flying away. Voice: Ii koto shiyou to shite kowareta? A good deed as a way of being destroyed? Back at the Tendou doujou, the kids, Akane, Ranma, Genma, and Souun are gathered around a moaning Happousai in bed. Genma: Mubou-na... Thoughtless... Souun: Jaaku-na o-shisou-sama ni, zenkou o kangaeru kairo nado motomoto sonzai shinai no da. Wicked master, from the start he had no circuits and the like for thinking about good deeds. Boy: (crying) SANTA-san... Boy: Gomennasai, SANTA-san. Deshiiri wa akiramemasu. I'm sorry, Santa-san. I'll give up being your apprentice. Happousai: E". Eh. The boy digs into his backpack. Boy: Sou da, orei no PUREZENTO... oite-ikimasu! That's it, my present... Where did I put it! p. 179 Boy: SANTA-san no suki-na PANTSU desu. It's the pants Santa-san likes. Happousai comes to life in a flash, face full of wide-eyed innocence. Happousai: Pa- pantei! Pa- Panty! Souun: Oo- yomigaetta! Oh, he's returned to life! The boy pulls out a pair of boxer shorts. Bon! Happousai blows another fuse. Boy: O-tou-san no. Chotto ookii ka mo shirenai kedo... Father's. They may be a little too big, but... Smoke rises from Happousai. The kids depart. Genma: Horobita ka... Did he perish... Souun: TODOME datta na... This is the coup de gr\^ace... Boy: Hayaku genki ni natte kudasai. Please get well soon. Night has fallen. Boy: SANTA-san te taihen nan desu ne. Boku, anna fu- ni naresou mo nai ya. As for Santa-san, it's terrible. Me, I didn't practice like that so much or... Akane and Ranma are walking the kids home. Akane: Ii- no yo naranakute. It's OK, don't take after him. Ranma: So- da zo, ano SANTA no MANE dake wa sunna yo. That's right, that Santa was only pretending. Akane: Demo... o-jii-san, chotto dake hansei shiteta n ja nai? But... o-jii-san, he searched his conscience just a little, didn't he? Ranma: So- ka naa. I wonder. p. 180 Suddenly, Happousai streams into the sky, whistling. Ranma: N? Huh? Happousai: O-i. Heey! The group looks up at the sky. KA- Happousai: Happou-daikarin SUPESHARU! Happou-daikarin special! DO--N! The Happodaikarin bomb explodes in a fireworks wreath. Happousai: Ii ko ni shitetara, mata KURISUMASU ni PUREZENTO yaru ka na-. Because you were good children, I'll give you an additional present for Christmas. Boy: (delighted) SANTA-san... Lights in the sky. Voice (Akane): Ii koto aru ja nai, o-jii-san You did a good deed, didn't you, o-jii-san. (Ranma): (thinking) Mata nusunda PANTSU, PUREZENTO-suru ki ja ne- darou na... Besides stolen pants, he got the gift-giving spirit, didn't he...