Ranma 1/2 story from Shonen Sunday Week 11, 1990 (Ranma 1/2 Volume 12, Part 5) Original story is Copyright (C) 1990 Takahashi Rumiko/Shogakukan Translation is Copyright (C) 1990 AmaTran/Ragnarok Part 5 of 5 Ippatsu gyakuten...no maki (Reversal by a hair...episode) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the principal's hut deep within the office jungle, Ranma hangs upside down with his hands tied behind him, disgustedly contemplating the principal, who's prancing about with shears and barikan in hand... Principal: (laughing) *HEY BOY!* Let's begin the tail-cutting ceremony. The principal joyfully looks at Ranma's unprotected ponytail. Principal: For starters, let's cut that long ponytail. Ranma abruptly flips over and grabs the principal's outstretched shears hand with his feet, deftly flipping him over head first into the school-regulation-exception coconut nearby... Ranma: (angry) #Coconuts crash!!# Principal: *OUCH!* The principal rubs the swelling lump under his miniature coconut tree... Principal: (sadly, to Ranma) You did that on purpose, didn't you?... Ranma gives the principal the evil eye (with his foot) while sticking his tongue out at him... Ranma: (derisive) Of course. The principal blows up one of his bizarre balloons, and makes it burst right in front of Ranma's face. A cloud of particles sting Ranma's eyes, blinding him momentarily... Principal: (wearing surgeon's mask) It's a balloon with pepper in it. Ranma, taken by surprise, can only curse his fate as the principal prepares to snip off his ponytail... Ranma: (blind) Damn it... Akane, megaphone in hand, suddenly shouts rather loudly into the principal's ear point-blank. Akane: (smiling, still using megaphone) "We're here, principal! You're under a total siege!!" Behind Akane, all the male students assault the hut and nearby trees as they crowd into the hut. Principal: (stunned, shaking his head) *OH NO...* The students spot the school-regulation-exception coconut on the table... Students: (excited) It's the coconut with the school regulation exception in it! If we get that!... The students almost have their hands on the coconut... Students: ...it'll be the end of the marubouzu school regulation... ...Only to have the principal bat it away, in the best baseball tradition. Principal: (watching the coconut) It's a home run. Students: (furious) You--! A distant figure starts to run towards the hut. What baffles both the principal and students is the object that's stuck to the figure's forehead... Students: Oh!! The coconut's coming back! Kunou, with the coconut still stuck to his forehead, starts blindly swinging about with his sword, causing everyone to take cover... Kunou: (angry) Have at you, principal! Kunou unknowingly thrusts at a surprised Ranma!... Kunou: This is the end--!! Akane: (alarmed) Ranma! Ranma swings around Kunou and kicks him into the principal face-first. Ranma: (angry) Why don't you make sure to aim for the principal!!? Principal: *OUCH!* As Kunou pitches over face-first, the principal takes the now- detached coconut... Principal: (awed) The coconut has been recovered for me. Tachi is an obedient son. The principal, his face serious, readies his barikan... Principal: As a reward I will shave you bald. Kunou, furious, gets up to defend himself. Kunou: (indignant) You like marubouzu... because of my filial devotion to you, if it's possible... Kunou takes several swipes at the packed-up-and-ready-to-leave principal... Kunou: (angry) ...I'll call up a whole group of bouzu [Buddhist monks] for your funeral! The principal runs behind Ranma, intending to use him as a shield against Kunou's vicious attack!... Principal: (alarmed) *JESUS! HELP ME!* The principal keeps running as Kunou begins a rapid series of sword thrusts that just keep missing Ranma... Kunou: (trying to get the principal) Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da--! Ranma just gets out of the way as Kunou almost scores a direct hit on the principal, who barely manages to get his surfboard to take the blow instead... Principal: (arming himself with barikan) You're always trying to beat me. Ranma is caught in the middle, ducking desperately as the Kunou and the principal begin to fight in earnest... Kunou: (attacking) That's my intention, Daddy!! Principal: (grimly defending himself) Have at you, Tachi!! Ranma gains some breathing space by hauling himself up with his toes. Ranma: (furious) You fellows, while you have this father-son quarrel, I'll be backing out!! Ranma swings down, slamming his forehead against Kunou's. Both reel from the impact. Akane finishes Kunou off with a mallet blow to the head... Ranma: (relieved) That's one down. (hauling himself up the rope) Next, principal, it's your turn!! (swinging forward headfirst) Take this, head attack--!! Akane: (stunned) Huh...? (concerned) The principal will be ready with his barikan to meet your head when it's sticking out! What are you thinking of, Ranma!!? Ranma realizes that this could be true as the principal sticks his tongue out in delight. He tries to pull back... Ranma: (panicking) Blast it, just wasn't thinking... Principal: (grinning) The insect flies about the flame until it finally gets burned. The principal winds up, then attacks... Principal: *GO!* Ranma manages to avoid the principal's thrust, and swings back... Students: (cheering) Oh, he came back!! It's the pendulum principle! Principal: (disappointed) *SHIT!* Ranma: (sticking his tongue out) Serves you right. Ranma smacks face-first into one of the hut's bamboo pillars. Principal: (pointing at Ranma) When you return again, you will have a marubouzu haircut! Ranma angrily pulls a length of bamboo from the hut roof with his feet... Ranma: (charging principal) Then... let's go!! Principal: (gloating) That's just what I wanted. Regular Kunou-style sword-whisk destruction... I'll show it to you!! Ranma attacks with the bamboo pole. As before, the principal skillfully uses his barikan to reduce the pole to a whisk... Students: (amazed) Oh!! The bamboo spear looks like silk threads! Kunou suddenly gets up, much to Akane's surprise... Kunou: (concerned) Foolish Saotome Ranma!! The sword-whisk destruction is a barikan style that uses the opponent's thrust bokutou as a sliding platform to continually rotate against faster than the eye can follow, to trim hair! That is to say!!... A simplistic illustration (marked "Easy-to-understand diagram") shows how the principal can use the bokutou of his opponent to curve one barikan upwards to trim hair while the other bokutou rotates downwards against the bokutou, shredding it a little. The continous rotation of both barikan gradually deprives the opponent of both bokutou and hair... Principal: (laughing loudly) I'll be trimming your hair right along with your bamboo spear! Ranma, upside down, holds on to his whisk of a spear, as the principal makes another pass... Ranma: (taciturn) There--as arranged beforehand, the place... Ranma launches a vicious kick upwards into the grinning principal's chin, completely stunning him. Ranma: (angry) I hit your head just like I said I would! Students: (cheering) He... He did it--!! Ranma, along with the other students, crowds around the principal, now miserably hunched over. Ranma: (displeased) We have the coconut, principal. Akane: (holding coconut) With this, just as you promised, you will abolish the marubouzu-okappa school regulation! A single tear falls from the principal's eyes before a disbelieving Ranma and Akane... Principal: (sadly) *OK...* It's a complete defeat. The principal removes his shades and cries some more... Principal: (shaking) *SORRY...* I was mistaken. Ranma: (annoyed) If you know that, then that's fine. Akane: (puzzled) You don't have to cry. Principal: (smiling) *OH!* Then you'll forgive foolish me--!? Some time later, back at school... Principal: (speaking to school) "...because of this, in order to be reconciled, I have a big present." The principal, speaking in front of the whole school in the gym, presents two banners, marked BOYS and GIRLS. Above the BOYS banner is a bizarre caricature of a boy with a samurai-style haircut, topknot and all. The GIRLS caricature is a counterpart to the BOYS picture, with the girl sporting a hairstyle reminiscent of the samurai period, hairpins keeping the hair together... Principal: (gesturing to banners) "New school regulations!!" The students take a very dim view of the proceedings and start to file out. The principal, outfitted like a mummy (and suffering a couple of fresh lumps on the head), tries to persuade an armed and defensive Kunou... Principal: (laughing) Tachi, at least if only you... Kunou: (furious) Stay away, you pervert. Ranma: (walking away disgustedly) Still haven't had enough. Students: The coup de grace will be delivered by the son. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Next: Chikoku sasemas--!...no maki --