Ranma 1/2 story from Shonen Sunday Week 7, 1990 (Ranma 1/2 Volume 12, Part 1) Original story is Copyright (C) 1990 Takahashi Rumiko/Shogakukan Translation is Copyright (C) 1990 AmaTran/Ragnarok Part 1 of 5 Kaette kita kouchou...no maki (The principal returned...episode) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's snowing at Furinkan High School, as students are leaving for the afternoon... Students' voices: Hey, I heard the principal came back. The principal!? If that's true... A couple of male students talk to each other... Student #1: Since I came to this school I've never even seen him once. Student #2: It's because he went to America three years ago for an educational observation trip. A couple of school girls talk to each other... Girl #1: He's come back from America. Girl #2: I wonder what kind of person he is. Suddenly, something tugs at the second girl's tartan-patterned shawl!... Voice: *HEY GIRL!!* A rather evil-looking snowman with a miniature coconut tree on its head glares at both girls, with shawl in "hand"!... Snowman: Flashy muffler check. The snowman, laughing maniacally (these sound effects are rendered in English), runs around harassing frightened students... Snowman: (to male student) Dress check. (to schoolgirl) Hairstyle check! Student: (frightened) What's with this snowman?!! Ranma happens on the scene... Ranma: (looking ahead) Hm? What's all this commotion? The snowman takes one look at Ranma, then leaps high into the air. Snowman: #Check!# The snowman almost lands on top of Ranma, who backflips out of the way. Ranma: What is it, you jerk? The snowman smiles, and pats Ranma on the back with mittened hands... Snowman: *DON'T WORRY* A set of shears appears in the snowman's hands as it prepares to snip off Ranma's ponytail. Snowman: Disallowed hairstyle. Ranma protectively grabs his ponytail away as he kicks the snowman headfirst into a nearby goalpost. Ranma: (angry) What are you doing?! The snowman turns around steaming mad with a dent in its head close to the wilted miniature coconut tree, glaring at a defiant Ranma... Snowman: #Goddamn.# The snowman prepares to charge Ranma, changing its hands to huge shears... Snowman: (furious) Are you disobeying the principal?!! Other students: (incredulous) Pr... principal!? That!? Ranma: (wary) The principal?... Ranma lands a vicious kick into the snowman, which falls apart. Ranma: (angry) This snowman's speaking nonsense! When the smoke clears... A very strange-looking man sits amidst the debris of the snowman. Tanned, with sunglasses and a permanent grin on his face, he's also wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt with a lei, short beach slacks and slippers. The miniature coconut tree atop his wavy hair and the ukulele he's playing complete the bizarre outfit. He's laughing maniacally (with English sound effects)... Principal: #Hello my student.# Students: (unbelieving) He was inside... Then that's the principal, returned from America...? He's like a Hawaiian slave dealer... The principal hands Ranma a pineapple. Principal: (grinning) *HEY BOY!* Here's a souvenir from Hawaii. Ranma: (accepting) Hm? The pineapple blows up with a large English BOOM. Ranma is left lying face-down in a small snow-free circle. The principal has a knee-slapping English laugh to himself. Principal: (smug) Hmpf, this is the pitiful end of life for one that disobeyed the principal of Furinkan High School. The principal grabs Ranma's ponytail and prepares to shear it off as the other students watch in horror. Principal: (laughing) Hairstyle check. Suddenly, Ranma kicks the principal away... Principal: (surprised) *OUCH!* (very upset, cradling his face) You hit me, didn't you... Ranma: (angry) I kicked you... The principal whistles loudly. A couple of reindeer wearing rattles on their necks appear, harnessed to a sled with a American-flag seat cushion. The principal gets on the sled, then turns to address Ranma. Principal: (upset) *HEY BOY!* I won't forget this. (yanking on reins) *GO!* A pineapple suddenly appears over Ranma and the other students. There is a huge explosion a moment later... Students: (slightly singed and dazed) That old man's discipline... I think it's the craziest I've ever seen... Ranma: (slightly burnt and angry) He's playing with me... Next day, at school... Announcement: The whole school will immediately gather in the physical-education building... The principal has some instructions. At the gym building, the principal is already at the podium, laughing rather hysterically (and in English) as the students file in. Students: (to themselves) That old man... Is he really the principal?... Principal: (grinning) Because I am the principal of Furinkan High School, I have a big present for all the students. Students: (excited) Present...? I wonder if it's a souvenir from Hawaii. Two banners suddenly unfurl down behind the principal: the one on the right, with "BOYS" on the bottom, is a bizarre smiling round head with very short hair (almost bald); the one on the left, labelled "GIRLS", has the same head, with a pageboy-style short haircut. Principal: (gesturing at the banners) New school regulations. Boys will have a marubouzu [very short, bristle-length] haircut, and girls will have an okappa [short, blunt, pageboy-style] haircut. The entire school greets this proclamation with total shock and disbelief. Principal: This is just the beginning. From now on, discipline will gradually become tighte... The angry students start throwing shoes and balls at the principal before he can even finish. Chairs start flying, which staggers him a bit. The final torrent of large gym equipment proves to be too much and he goes under. Ranma finishes him off by jumping on his head. Ranma: (annoyed) Hey, old man. Is this the morning of revenge? You're dirty. Principal: (grinning) *HA!* (getting up) The insect flutters about the flame until it finally gets burned. Ranma: What!? Akane, unconscious, arms tied to a mop, is hanging by the handle over the gym. Ranma: (alarmed) Akane!! The principal points to Ranma with a finger that's got a little face drawn on it. Principal: (laughing) Saotome Ranma of first-year "F" Class! I am through testing you!! The principal produces a barikan [hair clippers] and advances on Ranma menacingly. Principal: (chuckling) If you value your fiance's life, you will quietly submit and be the first to have a marubouzu haircut. Ranma: (angry) You bastard. Akane angrily breaks the mop handle binding her in half and swings over to kick the principal in the face. Principal: (surprised) *OUCH* Akane: (furiously grabbing the principal) And you're the principal!? Principal: (slightly frantic) Listen to what I have to say first. The principal holds up a coconut for all the students to see. Principal: Starting now everyone will compete against me. Students: (surprised) A competition!? Principal: Within this coconut, a school regulation permission for exception has been inserted. If any of you can take it away from me... Ranma jumps up on the podium, kicks the principal in the face and seizes the coconut, twirling it on his finger. Ranma: Then we don't have to have marubouzu and okappa haircuts. The students begin to applaud Ranma, but it turns out to be premature. The coconut explodes, prompting students to run away. Ranma, slightly toasted, glares at the remains of the coconut. The principal starts to strum his ukulele and sing. Principal: (singing) "Your time limit is three days. I'll be waiting in the principal's office." Students: Three days!! Fine, we'll take it by force!! The teachers look a little apprehensive... Teacher: (worried) He hasn't changed, the principal... Gym instructor: (to other teachers) Was he like this before...? Other teacher: He likes being hated by the students. The principal suddenly points at Ranma. Principal: (annoyed) *HEY BOY!* The principal goes face-to-face with Ranma, barikan in hand... Principal: (grinning) For sure I'll be the one to cut your long hair for you. Ranma: (smug) Hm, you'd better worry about lifeguards instead, teacher. The principal stands on the clock tower of Furinkan High School as the snow falls. He laughs loudly as he watches two balloons made to resemble his haircut illustrations bob in the wind, each one holding up a banner appropriately labelled "BOYS" and "GIRLS"... Principal: Thus is the gauntlet thrown down! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Next: Bouken! Kochoushitsu...no maki